Dilemmas: Someone please talk me out of this trench coat.

By Alvin Valley - the 'City Spire' trench.  "Long sleeve v-neck faux snake trench coat with optional belted waist and back flap detail. Front slash pockets. Button down front."  Final sale: $98, down from $1,030.40.  

Pros:
1) Fantastic cut, structure, and make.
2) It's less than 1/10 the original price.

Cons:
1) It's still $98, which for normal people is a decent lot of money.
2) It's FAUX SNAKE and it's GREEN.  Where the heck would I wear it, a vampire prom?